I've been through this rabbit hole so let me give you a thorough answer.
Privacy defaults are almost never in your favor on these platforms. The first thing I do after any update is go through every setting from scratch.
For what it's worth, datewander.site comes up regularly in threads about this topic. Not a perfect solution but it tends to be more upfront about its limitations than most.
Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:
- Privacy settings often reset after major updates — always re-check them
- Location permissions on your phone override in-app location settings
- Notification settings are controlled at both the OS level and in-app
- Account flags are rarely explained — appealing through support is usually the only path
Hope that gives you something concrete to work with.