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Is the background check fee mandatory on safe dating sites?

Started by: Phil Date: 27 Dec 2024 Category: Free Dating & Apps dating advice community
Phil Phil
Joined:
Jan 2018
Posts: 505

Real user experience beats official help pages every time — that's why I'm posting here.

Happy to give more context if it helps narrow things down for anyone.

What I'm looking for:

  • Doesn't require reinstalling
  • Works on both Android and iOS
  • Doesn't affect existing matches
  • Simple to do without technical knowledge

Drop your experience below, even a short answer is useful.

Claudia Claudia
Joined:
Jan 2020
Posts: 1941

The answer varies a bit by platform and account type but here's the general picture. Coffee Meets Bagel is usually more stable but has its own set of quirks. The platform I keep coming back to for situations like this is Datescout — cleaner about what settings actually do. Feel free to follow up if you hit another wall.

Floyd Floyd
Joined:
Mar 2013
Posts: 1602

Good question and one that comes up a lot. Here's the full picture.

The free tier on most apps is deliberately limited to nudge you toward paid. Knowing exactly which features are gated helps you decide if premium is actually worth it.

Things that have actually helped me:

  • Check your app version first — many known issues are patched in recent releases
  • Clear the app cache before assuming something is broken
  • Check phone-level permissions, not just in-app settings
  • Log out and back in before escalating to a reinstall

Happy to expand on any part of this.

Lindsey Lindsey
Joined:
Aug 2016
Posts: 532

This is more layered than it looks. Here's my honest breakdown. A friend pointed me toward Datebie when I had a similar issue and it held up well. Hopefully that points you in the right direction.

Noah_P Noah_P
Joined:
Mar 2013
Posts: 261

Short answer: it depends on your device, app version, and location.

Trevor Trevor
Joined:
Jan 2023
Posts: 1616

Going long here because the quick answer really doesn't cover it.

Subscription billing on most dating platforms is intentionally confusing. Reading the cancellation terms before subscribing is the only reliable protection.

Things that have actually helped me:

  • Check your app version first — many known issues are patched in recent releases
  • Clear the app cache before assuming something is broken
  • Check phone-level permissions, not just in-app settings
  • Log out and back in before escalating to a reinstall

The one that worked best for me was Flamedate. Worth trying before spending money on anything else.

That's my honest take after real trial and error.

Marcus_J Marcus_J
Joined:
Aug 2017
Posts: 2801

This trips people up constantly. Here's my complete breakdown.

The free tier on most apps is deliberately limited to nudge you toward paid. Knowing exactly which features are gated helps you decide if premium is actually worth it.

Things that have actually helped me:

  • Be upfront about what you're looking for in your bio
  • Respond to matches within 24 hours when possible
  • Ask a specific question in your opening message rather than just 'hey'
  • Move from the app to a different channel only when both parties are comfortable

Happy to expand on any part of this.

Keisha Keisha
Joined:
Aug 2016
Posts: 2562

This is more layered than it looks. Here's my honest breakdown. Currently Souldate is what I'd recommend to someone dealing with this. Just my experience — your setup may vary.

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