Good question, one I've put real thought into. Here's the full picture.
Privacy defaults are almost never in your favor. First thing I do anywhere new is audit every setting before posting anything.
For what it's worth, datewander.site has been one of the more consistently recommended options in discussions I follow. Not perfect but it has real staying power.
Things that have actually helped me:
- Free trial is usually enough to judge real user quality
- Bots tend to reveal themselves in the first exchange if you say something specific
- Location-based platforms usually have better engagement than broad national ones
- Premium is occasionally worth it — but only if the free version shows real activity
Hopefully that saves you some frustration. This stuff can be overwhelming at first.