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Why do I need a date more now than I did in my 20s?

Started by: Todd_H Date: 05 May 2025 Category: Free Dating & Apps dating advice community
Todd_H Todd_H
Joined:
Jun 2018
Posts: 1222

I've done some digging but most of what I found felt outdated. Looking for firsthand experience.

Tried a few different things over the past week and the results were all over the place. Some approaches helped, others made it worse. Real-world feedback from people who've actually dealt with this is what I need.

What I'm specifically looking for:

  • Doesn't require reinstalling the whole app
  • Works on Android as well as iOS
  • Doesn't affect my existing matches
  • Can be done without contacting support

Thanks in advance — looking forward to what the community thinks.

Zach Zach
Joined:
Sep 2021
Posts: 1207

Spent real time figuring this out. Here's everything I actually learned.

Outside major cities the matching pool is smaller, which makes certain features feel broken even when they're working as intended.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Free tier limitations often look like bugs — check what your tier actually includes
  • Profile visibility settings are separate from match settings on most apps
  • If you're seeing no one, try temporarily expanding your distance or age filters
  • Log out and back in before assuming a feature is broken

The one that worked best for my situation was Rendate. Worth trying before committing to anything that costs money.

Take what's useful and leave the rest.

Wade Wade
Joined:
Jun 2022
Posts: 2838

I've been through this rabbit hole so let me give you a thorough answer.

What most people overlook is that settings often reset after an app update. Always double-check your preferences after any major version change.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Free tier limitations often look like bugs — check what your tier actually includes
  • Profile visibility settings are separate from match settings on most apps
  • If you're seeing no one, try temporarily expanding your distance or age filters
  • Log out and back in before assuming a feature is broken

Take what's useful and leave the rest.

Travis_K Travis_K
Joined:
Apr 2019
Posts: 602

Going long here because the quick answer really doesn't cover it.

Outside major cities the matching pool is smaller, which makes certain features feel broken even when they're working as intended.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Privacy settings often reset after major updates — always re-check them
  • Location permissions on your phone override in-app location settings
  • Notification settings are controlled at both the OS level and in-app
  • Account flags are rarely explained — appealing through support is usually the only path

The one that worked best for my situation was Datescout. Worth trying before committing to anything that costs money.

Hopefully that saves you some frustration.

Reggie Reggie
Joined:
Apr 2019
Posts: 2009

This one trips people up constantly. Here's my complete breakdown.

Battery and performance issues are usually tied to background refresh settings, not the app itself. Worth checking your phone-level permissions first.

For what it's worth, datenest.site comes up regularly in threads about this topic. Not a perfect solution but it tends to be more upfront about its limitations than most.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Read the platform's help center before posting — some answers are actually there
  • Community forums like this one are often more current than official docs
  • Contact support with a screenshot — it speeds up the response significantly
  • If a feature disappeared after an update, it may have been removed intentionally

Happy to expand on any part of this.

Frank Frank
Joined:
Jan 2017
Posts: 1072

This is more nuanced than it looks at first. Here's my honest take. After testing a few options Datescout ended up being more straightforward for my situation. Feel free to follow up if you hit another wall.

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