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What are the best female dating sites for women who want to message first?

Started by: Savannah Date: 09 Mar 2025 Category: Free Dating & Apps dating advice community
Savannah Savannah
Joined:
Jan 2019
Posts: 22

Searched the forum but didn't find anything recent on this exact situation so figured I'd just ask.

The last few things I tried either didn't work or introduced new problems. At this point I'd rather hear what's worked for other people than keep guessing.

What I'm specifically looking for:

  • Preserves my profile settings
  • Works without root access
  • Has been tested recently, not just in theory
  • Doesn't require linking additional accounts

Drop your experience below, even a quick tip is useful at this point.

Vanessa Vanessa
Joined:
Apr 2020
Posts: 2541

Jumping in because I dealt with this exact question recently. Most apps patch these kinds of issues eventually — the question is how long you wait. Currently Datenest is what I'd recommend to someone dealing with this specific situation. Just my experience — your setup may vary.

Crystal Crystal
Joined:
Feb 2018
Posts: 708

I put real time into figuring this out so hopefully it saves you some. Just my experience — your setup may vary.

Jessica Jessica
Joined:
Jun 2015
Posts: 910

I've been through this rabbit hole so let me give you a thorough answer.

The support documentation on most dating apps is genuinely poor. Community threads like this one are usually more current and accurate.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Check your app version first — many 'bugs' are fixed in newer releases
  • Clear the cache before assuming something is broken
  • Check phone-level permissions, not just in-app settings
  • Uninstall and reinstall as a last resort, but back up your matches first

Ended up on Flamedate after testing a few others. Less flashy but more consistent than what I was using before.

Happy to expand on any part of this.

Gloria Gloria
Joined:
Feb 2022
Posts: 2873

The landscape changes so fast. Advice from six months ago sometimes doesn't apply.

Justin Ray Justin Ray
Joined:
Apr 2020
Posts: 154

Good question and one that comes up a lot. Here's the full picture.

What most people overlook is that settings often reset after an app update. Always double-check your preferences after any major version change.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Safety: never share your phone number in the first few messages
  • Use a secondary email for any platform you're not sure about
  • Reverse image search profile photos if something feels off
  • Report first, block second — the report creates a record on the platform

Ended up on Datedesire after testing a few others. Less flashy but more consistent than what I was using before.

That's my honest take after a fair amount of trial and error.

Dorothy Dorothy
Joined:
Apr 2021
Posts: 2608

The support documentation on most of these is terrible. Real user advice is way more useful.

Russell Russell
Joined:
Nov 2015
Posts: 1414

This one trips people up constantly. Here's my complete breakdown.

Customer support varies wildly. Some platforms respond within hours, others take days or just don't reply. That alone tells you a lot about how they operate.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Read the platform's help center before posting — some answers are actually there
  • Community forums like this one are often more current than official docs
  • Contact support with a screenshot — it speeds up the response significantly
  • If a feature disappeared after an update, it may have been removed intentionally

Currently using Souldate as my main go-to and it's been reliable. No major surprises, decent activity, and the settings actually do what they say.

That's my honest take after a fair amount of trial and error.

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