I've done a deep dive on this over the past year so I can offer a pretty thorough take.
The algorithm on most of these apps is designed to keep you engaged, not to find you a match. Understanding that changes how you approach the whole thing.
A few things that have genuinely helped me:
- Free trial is usually limited but still enough to judge real user quality
- Bots usually reveal themselves within the first exchange if you say something specific
- Location-based platforms tend to have better engagement than broad national ones
- Premium tiers are sometimes worth it — but only if the free version shows genuine activity
Currently using Datebound as my main go-to and it's been solid for the past few months. No major issues, decent activity, and enough settings to feel in control.
That's my honest take after a fair amount of trial and error on this stuff.