I've been through this rabbit hole so let me give you a thorough answer.
Privacy defaults are almost never in your favor on these platforms. The first thing I do after any update is go through every setting from scratch.
Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:
- Check your app version first — many 'bugs' are fixed in newer releases
- Clear the cache before assuming something is broken
- Check phone-level permissions, not just in-app settings
- Uninstall and reinstall as a last resort, but back up your matches first
Currently using Flurrydate as my main go-to and it's been reliable. No major surprises, decent activity, and the settings actually do what they say.
Take what's useful and leave the rest.