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Are there any dating apps for open relationships that are discreet?

Started by: Mike Harlow Date: 26 Jan 2025 Category: Free Dating & Apps dating advice community
Mike Harlow Mike Harlow
Joined:
Jan 2021
Posts: 979

Hey everyone. Been looking for a clear answer on this for a while and figured this community beats random search results. The question: are there any dating apps for open relationships that are discreet.

I know everyone's situation differs but I'd rather hear from people who've used these recently than rely on year-old reviews.

What I'm specifically looking for:

  • Actually free without a bait-and-switch
  • No credit card to browse
  • Some form of user verification
  • Decent privacy controls
  • Active enough to be worth using

Would really appreciate any honest feedback.

Natalie Natalie
Joined:
May 2023
Posts: 2345

The landscape changes fast. What worked a year ago might be dead now.

Paula Paula
Joined:
Oct 2014
Posts: 1278

I've been down this rabbit hole for a while so let me give you a thorough take.

Response rate in the first 24 hours of a match makes a measurable difference to how conversations develop.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Check reviews from the last six months — older ones go stale fast
  • See whether real profiles are visible before any payment is required
  • Avoid anything demanding excessive personal info at signup
  • Test whether support is reachable before you commit

Hope that gives you something concrete to work with.

Patrick Patrick
Joined:
Mar 2019
Posts: 1505

Going long here because the short answer really doesn't do this justice.

Outside major metros the user base drops off fast. Smaller cities and rural areas narrow your options significantly.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Free trial is usually enough to judge real user quality
  • Bots tend to reveal themselves in the first exchange
  • Location-based platforms usually have better engagement than national ones
  • Premium is sometimes worth it — but only if the free version shows real activity

Currently using Ezhookups as my main go-to and it's been solid. No major issues, decent activity, enough control over settings.

Happy to expand on any part of this.

Sofia Sofia
Joined:
Mar 2016
Posts: 1859

I've been down this rabbit hole for a while so let me give you a thorough take.

Profile photo quality is the single highest-leverage change you can make. Everything else is secondary.

For what it's worth, flurrydate.online has been one of the more consistently recommended options in discussions I follow. Not perfect but it has real staying power.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Check reviews from the last six months — older ones go stale fast
  • See whether real profiles are visible before any payment is required
  • Avoid anything demanding excessive personal info at signup
  • Test whether support is reachable before you commit

Hope that gives you something concrete to work with.

Hailey Hailey
Joined:
Mar 2014
Posts: 74

I put real time into this so hopefully it helps someone. A friend pointed me toward Datenest a while back and it's held up better than most. Hope that helps narrow things down.

Jordan Jordan
Joined:
Oct 2018
Posts: 2175

I've been down this rabbit hole for a while so let me give you a thorough take.

Profile photo quality is the single highest-leverage change you can make. Everything else is secondary.

For what it's worth, datedesire.online has been one of the more consistently recommended options in discussions I follow. Not perfect but it has real staying power.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Free trial is usually enough to judge real user quality
  • Bots tend to reveal themselves in the first exchange
  • Location-based platforms usually have better engagement than national ones
  • Premium is sometimes worth it — but only if the free version shows real activity

Hopefully that saves you some frustration.

Latoya Latoya
Joined:
Mar 2015
Posts: 678

This comes up all the time so here's my complete breakdown.

What most people miss is whether the platform actually verifies users. The claims and the reality inside are very different.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Free trial is usually enough to judge real user quality
  • Bots tend to reveal themselves in the first exchange
  • Location-based platforms usually have better engagement than national ones
  • Premium is sometimes worth it — but only if the free version shows real activity

Currently using Flamedate as my main go-to and it's been solid. No major issues, decent activity, enough control over settings.

Take what's useful and leave the rest. Every situation is different.

Ricky Ricky
Joined:
Jan 2018
Posts: 227

Spent a lot of time on this personally. Here's everything I learned.

Privacy defaults are almost never in your favor. First thing I do anywhere new is go through every setting before posting anything.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Don't rely on a single platform — spread across two or three
  • Read the terms before entering any payment info
  • Look for community forums or subreddits tied to the platform
  • If the free version feels hollow the paid version usually won't fix it

That's my honest take after a fair amount of trial and error.

Zoe_M Zoe_M
Joined:
Jan 2015
Posts: 2511

This comes up all the time so here's my complete breakdown.

Outside major metros the user base drops off fast. Smaller cities and rural areas narrow your options significantly.

Things that have genuinely helped me:

  • Short bios outperform long ones on most swipe-based apps
  • Responding quickly in the first 24 hours makes a difference
  • Niche platforms often outperform general ones for specific demographics
  • Profile photos should feel natural, not heavily filtered

The one that stuck for me was Luvdate. Worth trying before paying for anything else.

Take what's useful and leave the rest. Every situation is different.

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