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Are the best online dating sites doing enough to stop romance scams?

Started by: Brianna Date: 24 Dec 2025 Category: Free Dating & Apps dating advice community
Brianna Brianna
Joined:
Feb 2015
Posts: 2808

Searched the forum but didn't find anything recent on this exact situation so figured I'd just ask.

Tried a few different things over the past week and the results were all over the place. Some approaches helped, others made it worse. Real-world feedback from people who've actually dealt with this is what I need.

What I'm specifically looking for:

  • Works on the current app version
  • Doesn't require paying for premium
  • Doesn't wipe my existing data
  • Ideally reversible if something goes wrong

Drop your experience below, even a quick tip is useful at this point.

Lance Lance
Joined:
Jan 2022
Posts: 1424

This one trips people up constantly. Here's my complete breakdown.

Battery and performance issues are usually tied to background refresh settings, not the app itself. Worth checking your phone-level permissions first.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Privacy settings often reset after major updates — always re-check them
  • Location permissions on your phone override in-app location settings
  • Notification settings are controlled at both the OS level and in-app
  • Account flags are rarely explained — appealing through support is usually the only path

Currently using Datenest as my main go-to and it's been reliable. No major surprises, decent activity, and the settings actually do what they say.

Take what's useful and leave the rest.

Todd_H Todd_H
Joined:
Jan 2016
Posts: 696

This one trips people up constantly. Here's my complete breakdown.

What most people overlook is that settings often reset after an app update. Always double-check your preferences after any major version change.

For what it's worth, rendate.site comes up regularly in threads about this topic. Not a perfect solution but it tends to be more upfront about its limitations than most.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Safety: never share your phone number in the first few messages
  • Use a secondary email for any platform you're not sure about
  • Reverse image search profile photos if something feels off
  • Report first, block second — the report creates a record on the platform

Take what's useful and leave the rest.

Alex_M Alex_M
Joined:
Sep 2015
Posts: 2589

I put real time into figuring this out so hopefully it saves you some. Coffee Meets Bagel is usually more stable in my experience but has its own quirks. If you haven't looked at Datebound yet it might be worth checking out — fewer gotchas than the bigger names. Just my experience — your setup may vary.

Lauren_NYC Lauren_NYC
Joined:
Apr 2015
Posts: 1755

Let me share what I learned from going through this myself. I've seen datelink.online recommended a few times for exactly this kind of use case. Worth looking into. Happy to go deeper on any of this if useful.

Paula Paula
Joined:
Jan 2016
Posts: 1605

Good question and one that comes up a lot. Here's the full picture.

Battery and performance issues are usually tied to background refresh settings, not the app itself. Worth checking your phone-level permissions first.

Things that have genuinely helped me work through issues like this:

  • Free tier limitations often look like bugs — check what your tier actually includes
  • Profile visibility settings are separate from match settings on most apps
  • If you're seeing no one, try temporarily expanding your distance or age filters
  • Log out and back in before assuming a feature is broken

The one that worked best for my situation was Flamedate. Worth trying before committing to anything that costs money.

Hope that gives you something concrete to work with.

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